Is this tumor consuming me?

I've never been so scared in my life.

I have been through everything it seems ... at times simply on my own.

I want someone by my side.

Is it wrong to want a little sympathy?

I think that I truly am more bitter more sad more hurt that I spent so many years being so caring for others. Not the loving of the kids in the family but the oh they just got out of the hospital .... (hmm) let me take full on care of them.

It's not right for me to truly get bent out of shape but you know PEOPLE ... I am HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!! It hurts me so much to know that I let a lot of people hurt me ... that I let a lot of people change my life, my course, my feelings.

Do you know how many times I knew that I was not friends with someone that was truly "MY FRIEND" or stayed in a relationship "I knew I was HURT in"

I think of all the circles this world takes you in and I think of all the times everyone has known they could and can count on me and yet and still if I broke down on the side of the freeway, I'm sure of maybe one person I could call.


It breaks my heart to say that out loud "well type out loud" if people had any clue how hurt I am inside by their actions would they still go about these ways????????????