Simple words so hard for you to say

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3vkoSQWtV4

Actions speak louder then words!

Quotes on life, love, truth and funny things like that found here in this blog

Physical verses Verbal Abuse:

Physical abuse is easily identified. There is no doubt, once you have been hit, that you have been physically abused. You don’t second guess yourself because the bruises and scars are visible evidence that abuse has taken place. Verbal abuse is different. The damage is internal, there are no physical bruises or scars, just a wounded spirit and sense of self-esteem.

I didn't know how serious Verbal Abuse is:

A master at verbal abuse can damage your self-esteem while, at the same time, appear to care deeply for you. The use of words to punish is a very covert attempt to control and regardless of how loving your spouse may appear to be, verbal abuse is wrong and can be just has harmful as physical abuse.

Protect yourself from abuse

I hope passing along information helps at least one person. Even if me one day.... If you are - or suspect you are - in an abusive relationship, there are steps you can take to help ensure your safety, says McMahon. In a heated situation, stay away from the kitchen - reportedly one of the most common places for domestic violence - where there are too many potential weapons. Also avoid any small rooms, such as bathrooms or closets, where you can be trapped. Call 911 as soon as possible. Get medical help as soon as possible if you've been hit. Take photos of any injuries to yourself or your children. Try to keep a phone with you at all times, and memorize emergency phone numbers (such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-SAFE). Set up a system with a trusted neighbor - such as flashing your porch lights on and off - to alert her that you're in danger and you want her to call the police. Keep a small suitcase packed for yourself and your children, with key documents like your Social Security card, health insurance card and driver's license. If you're being stalked, get an unlisted phone number, screen all your calls, and frequently change your driving times, routes and other daily habits. Alert the security officer at your workplace if you think you're in danger. Finally, says McMahon, pay attention to your instincts. "If you're feeling bad about the relationship - even if you don't know why - don't ignore it. Listen to your gut." Domestic Violence and Abuse: The Facts If you wonder whether domestic violence is really a problem, consider these numbers. • Battering. About 572,000 assaults by intimate partners are officially reported each year, and at least 170,000 of these assaults require hospitalization, emergency room care or a doctor's care. • Sexual assault. Every year about 132,000 women in the United States report rape or attempted rape - and more than half of them knew their attackers. Domestic violence experts estimate that many more women are raped but don't report it. Every year, 1.2 million women are forcibly raped by their current or former male partners, some more than once, according to the National Association of Women. • Death. Every day 4 women die in the United States as a result of domestic violence at the hands of their husbands or partners. The number of women who have been murdered by domestic violence is greater than the number of soldiers killed in the Vietnam War. Domestic violence is a grim reality, but you can help protect yourself by watching for early signs of abuse and getting out of an abusive relationship as quickly as possible

Insecurities - Un-healthy for realationships

WHY DO MEN GET JEALOUS? Whatever form a man's jealousy takes, the root cause is always the same: insecurity. There may even be a connection between male jealousy and infidelity, says psychologist Gladeana McMahon. 'Men aren't so sure these days about who they're supposed to be. Should they be the provider, or an equal partner? This uncertainty breeds insecurity and, in turn, jealousy. 'Some jealous men may have problems entering into a monogamous relationship because they find it too scary to commit to one person - what if it goes wrong, or she lets him down?'So these men split their emotions. They can be insanely jealous of their partner, but being unfaithful to her provides, they think, the emotional security of not putting all their relationship eggs in one basket.' _______________________________________WHAT ARE THE WARNING SIGNS?• If he grew up around infidelity. 'If he saw his parents cheating on each other, he may have grown up thinking that's what people do, and be carrying a great deal of mistrust,' says Gladeana.• If he's been cheated on. He may well be asking why he should trust you if he was so badly hurt before.• If he has a poor self-image. If he doesn't believe he's worth much, then he's always going to question why you stay with him - and whether you'll continue to.• If you're more successful or more highly paid than him. A common jealousy trigger, as it strikes at the core of every man's sense of his own status. Glance at any celebrity magazine and it's clear how the relationships between famous women and not-so-famous men have a habit of hurtling towards the rocks, usually amid tales of the man's jealous outbursts. Exhibit A: Jennifer Lopez's short-lived marriage to choreographer Cris Judd, punctuated by tales of the groom's jealous tantrums. ______________________________________Many women misread the signs when entering into a relationship with a jealous man, interpreting his possessive behavior as caring, even romantic. Others may choose to ignore the jealous outbursts, or try to anticipate or avoid the situations which spark them off. This, says Gladeana, is a major mistake. 'You must never back out of dealing with his jealousy in the hope it will go away - it won't,' she says. 'But by learning the right way to tackle it, he'll soon come to know that as soon as he starts suffering pangs, you'll always notice and won't let him get away with it.' ______________________________________HOW TO HANDLE A JEALOUS GUY1. Recognise it as a problem - both of you.2. Make a commitment. Him: that he genuinely wants to change his behavior and will work at it with your help. You: that you won't change your behavior to accommodate his. Never stop doing things to 'keep your partner happy.' He'll just find other things to get jealous about.3. Look for the reasons for the jealousy. It always comes down to an insecurity about one thing or another...but what? Perhaps his self-esteem needs building up - he may not feel, at heart, that he is loveable and his jealousy may be a way of testing this. You need to talk together about how the jealousy manifests itself and discuss how you'll deal with it when it next happens.4. Work out a 'jealousy code'. This is a sign, either a word or a gesture, agreed on and known only to you two, that either of you can use when jealousy is becoming a problem. It acts like a sort of 'time out' in difficult situations and signals for you to help each other.5. Don't pamper him. 'Changing your behavior to try and avoid jealousy is an example of pampering and never cures the problem. What does is encouraging him that he's doing well in trying to deal with it and that you recognise how difficult it is for him,' says Gladeana. Never, ever say that the jealousy is acceptable. Support him, but never collude with him.6. Get help. Jealousy is one of the most frequent problems brought to relationships counselors....

When intamacy turns violent - Warning signs of abuse

When Intimacy Turns Violent Know the early signs of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse to protect yourself from an abusive relationship and domestic violence. Love isn't supposed to hurt, but for too many women, physical and sexual abuse are part of their lives. Domestic violence experts estimate that 2 to 4 million women are battered each year. But domestic violence - an assault by a husband or boyfriend - doesn't always come in the most dramatic, headline-grabbing forms. Emotional and verbal abuse, date rape and more subtle forms of violence happen to women and girls of all ages. Are you - or is your daughter - in a potentially abusive relationship? Recommended Related to Sex & Relationships What Does "For Worse" Look Like? Just ask these five couples whose love passed the ultimate test.... It can happen with a phone call at 4 a.m. It can happen when your doctor says, "I have some bad news...." It can happen a week after your honeymoon, or in the middle of a deadline crunch at work, or on your way to your child's yellow-belt ceremony. Tragedy can hit, hard, anytime. And though it's romantic to think that couples can cling together and weather the storm, the reality... Domestic violence is not about anger, says Michigan psychiatrist Laura McMahon, MD, who teaches young women what behaviors are - and are not - appropriate in a relationship. "Domestic violence is about domination, manipulation and control." And abusive behavior often starts when a couple is just dating, she says. Types of Abuse Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, says Mary Jo Fay, RN, MSN, author of When Your Perfect Partner Goes Perfectly Wrong. She explains the different types: Physical abuse includes hitting, punching, strangling, restraining, pushing and slapping. Verbal abuse includes name-calling, shouting and yelling. Emotional abuse includes blaming, accusing and restricting your freedom - like preventing you from using the phone or talking to family members, or recording the mileage on your car to see if you've driven somewhere 'not allowed.' Attempting to confuse you mentally - as in the Hitchcock film "Gaslight" - is another perfect example, says Fay. Sexual abuse is a forced sexual encounter of any type, says Fay. This includes intercourse, inappropriate touching of any kind (even through clothing) and even forced kissing when you don't desire it. Common Abusive Behavior Most women don't leave at the first warning signs of domestic violence, Fay says, because they're afraid to rock the boat or don't have the financial resources and social support to leave. "Because of the controlling nature of abusers," she says, "it's hard for many women to make contact with someone who can help them, or even to have any money." Could you be in an abusive relationship? The Sojourner Truth House, an advocacy organization and shelter for battered women in Wisconsin, provides this list of abusive behaviors. While this list focuses on male partners, in a few cases, a woman could be the abuser in a relationship. He always has to be right Can you voice your own opinions, even if your partner disagrees? Or does he push your ideas aside and insist on being right? Short-tempered Is your partner short-tempered and quick to anger? Does he often slam doors, punch walls or throw things? Does he take out his anger on innocent animals? Uses his physical force Has your partner grabbed or squeezed you so hard you were bruised? Does your partner hold you down or shove, slap, kick or hit you, to get his way? Jealous and possessive Does your partner seem overly jealous or possessive of you? Does he frequently ask where you went, why, and whom you saw? Does he accuse you of things that you didn't do? Fascinated by weapons Does your partner carry a knife, gun or other weapon, or spend a lot of time watching violent films and videos? Heavy drinking or drugs Does your partner often drink heavily or use drugs, and become more hot-tempered when he does? Fast-moving relationships Has your relationship moved faster than you'd like? If your partner displays any of these behaviors, domestic violence experts advise you to leave immediately. "Unfortunately, you can't usually prevent domestic violence," says McMahon, "since most abusers don't feel they have a problem."

Never gets easy

It changes you a little bit every time you either break someone's heart or get your heart broken.

Saying you don't need a man:

I don't need a man. One of the biggest lies we women tell ourselves. Yet we fuss and fight over one. Yet we buy the cutest and sexiest clothes. Yet we get our hair done and put on make up. OR do we do it for ourselves? It's not about being desperate, it's about acknowledging that you need a man in your life BUT you will accept one when you are 1) ready 2) he is ready 3) he is finally who God wants you to have. 4) love comes unconditionally, untethered to his past and free to love you deeply.

How hard was that? Or are you still saying that you don't need a man? I wonder if men go so hard that they say that they don't need a woman?

Great taste

I love the taste he has; so darn adorable. I love that we both can imagine what the other loves

Healthy Relationships

Healthy Relationships

Communication is a key part to building a healthy relationship. The first step is making sure you both want and expect the same things -- being on the same page is very important. The following tips can help you create and maintain a healthy relationship:

• Speak Up. In a healthy relationship, if something is bothering you, it’s best to talk about it instead of holding it in.
• Respect Your Partner. Your partner's wishes and feelings have value. Let your significant other know you are making an effort to keep their ideas in mind. Mutual respect is essential in maintaining healthy relationships.
• Compromise. Disagreements are a natural part of healthy relationships, but it’s important that you find a way to compromise if you disagree on something. Try to solve conflicts in a fair and rational way.
• Be Supportive. Offer reassurance and encouragement to your partner. Also, let your partner know when you need their support. Healthy relationships are about building each other up, not putting each other down.
• Respect Each Other’s Privacy. Just because you’re in a relationship, doesn’t mean you have to share everything and constantly be together. Healthy relationships require space.

10 Habits of Happy Couples

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? As I sit back and look at what made us happy; I see why were often so happy but also see what I sometimes forget in the heat of the moment.
I found that I would sometimes have all the best intentions ideas and thoughts in my mind but we find at times we are human and human nature sometimes is to do what we've always done.
Never give up on true love -
1. Go to bed at the same time (I almost could smack myself when I think logically. I love being in my huns arms)
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn't wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.
2. Cultivate common interests (we do amazing here)
After the passion settles down, it's common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don't minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side (i love this about us)
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it's more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode(I believe I'm making this my default mode more and more)
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can't resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong(today tomorrow and always)
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work(love hugs)
Our skin has a memory of "good touch" (loved), "bad touch" (abused) and "no touch" (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the "good touch," which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say "I love you" and "Have a good day" every morning(love this about us)
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say "Good night" every night, regardless of how you feel(taught a very long time ago)
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a "weather" check during the day(ha ha how many times do we not see how excited our partner is about something)
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you're more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner(Love this in couples and I believe we have this)
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact -- hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a habit. So I know I need to look at this everyday and each month maybe touch up here or there to keep the smiles going.

Read more: How To Be Happy in a Relationship- 10 Habits of Happy Couples - Woman's Day

Learn to be receptive of that gift.

 Love is a gift.
You can't buy it, you can't find it, someone has to give it to you.

Relationships

The secret to a long-lasting relationship is remembering that the best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

 Don't settle for a relationship that wont let you be yourself. 

  The amazing thing about life is that you choose what you allow in it, you choose how things affect you, you choose how you react. Happiness is a choice. So Make the right one....

No matter what you do in life, never settle for less and get desperate by submitting yourself to something that feels good for the moment. Self-entrapment is the primary tool of negative influence. Let your previous experiences and prior learning curves keep you at a fine balance. Your desperation will only set you up for an upset and an unbearable disappointment. Control your life through your dependence on God and your own independence and you won't need additional legs to help you stand up to life's greatest challenges.

 It is much wiser to walk away in silence then to speak the negative words in and on your mind. Once you unleash your words from out of your mouth, you cannot retract them, nor prevent them from entering into another set of ears. The process of your perception is already in motion. Use your wisdom to be the lever that gives stability to your humble attitude.....

Sometimes people lie because they know the truth will hurt you. What they fail to get is, it hurts MORE to know your not worth the truth... 

   I am flirting with destiny, courting my promise, committing to my purpose, honey mooning my future and marrying my calling.

 The person that you need in your life is the one that is not afraid to admit that they needs you in theirs.

 Your relationship goal should not be to find someone who makes u happy, but rather to be happy first, then attract someone into your life who encourages u to express your happiness without inhibition

 "Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder. Giving up doesn't mean you are weak! It only means that you are strong enough to let go!"

 The only person that deserves you... is the one that thinks they don't. the one that'll stick by your side... no matter how much you mess up. and the one who will forgive you... mistake after mistake...

 3 things you should want in a relationship
1.) Eyes that wont cry,
2.) Lips than wont lie,
3.) And love that wont die.

When you hurt me; I try to stop loving you but can't.

Take this knife to my throat, cut me deep and watch me choke. Kiss my cheek and walk away. Then I'll use my last breath to say I still love you.

Not perfect!

And no relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater. But, the love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that's the key. It's like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot

Egg shells is no way for anyone in the world to live!

Yelling, swearing and screaming. I call this the “walking on eggs shells” syndrome because you are living with someone who goes verbally ballistic for very little cause.

original post 2-19-2013

Falling

I believe I'm falling... and I believe you may be falling with me....

Name Calling

Being called names by your spouse. Any negative form of name calling is unacceptable. If you feel that it is a put down, then it most likely is. There are names that are obvious and, without question abusive. Then there are the covert, veiled attempts to put a spouse down that are harder to identify. Verbal abusers love to use constructive criticism to beat a spouse down. If your spouse is constantly criticizing you, “for your own good,” be careful. This is the most insidious form of verbal abuse. 

original post 2-9-2013

 Read this before and I've loved it each time! If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can’t "be friends."
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone ELSE'S man.
Oh Lord!  If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about

baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists
of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.

Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you’re
always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies.
You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.

"Unknown" However VERY TRUE!!!