Women-when can I ask him where this relationship is going?

If your a women, know this-it is not for you to go and seek from a man-where the realtionship is going and what his intentions are; because quite frankly if a man is not well intentioned; he's just going to lie to you anyway; to keep the relationship going and get whatever benifits he wants from the relationship. So what you do is be a person that can judge good character and look at the way he has treated you, and if he is treating you correctly then the relationship is going where it needs to be going; and if not then get out of the relationship.