The ache in my heart

Who was i?
Was i just another memory to forget?….
Though I know I’m just a memory
like the end to one of your stories
but to me you are the one i love
I love until the end…

So I come before you to ask you;
why.... why do these things happen? 
Why must I understand and be ok?

Shall I say why should I be forgiving? 

Why should I be understanding?

Shall I feel walked all over and allow 
this feeling to take me over?

You gave your only Son for our sin
and I am trying to be understanding 
to the fact that this isn't your doing...

I am having a hard time wondering how 
I will explain what I know to someone 
else when I don't know how to explain 
it to myself. 

You can know something but dis-regard 
it in a moment when it makes your heart burn....
I feel as though my Soul has been taken from 
me... I feel as though my body is not my own...

I feel as though my life belongs to something
someone... else not of good but of evil as I 
don't get how something so bad can happen...

Please help me get some understanding...

I need understanding ...

I want a new life a new way a new view a 
new anything so I don't feel or have to feel
what I feel...

If I've been through it all and then I have to 
 face my worse fear ... I just want to ...
want to disapear as though I never existed at 
all!

I pray for strength I pray for understanding
I pray for the heart of yours... I pray for a 
day of happiness to stay... there must be a way.

Just come to me in my dreams so I can 
understand this land that I am to see one day...

I am going to lay down and try not to frown 
I am going to lay down and try not to drown. 

I want to believe in a better way a much 
better day and life of love and beauty 
a life of no hurt no dirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need so much right now ....

I never need anything but I know 
that right now I need you! I need you
but more then that I want you!

I want my faith to overcome my 
mind and my soul ... let's roll 
can we? Can I be selfish and 
ask for you to come to me above
all else before anyone before I 
walk away? I can't cry...

My eyes are becoming dry...

My heart hurts....

Dear God ... i need u... >m