Daily Writing - Truly M

“I’ve tried to block your memory to protect me from the pain, pretend I never knew you, and never heard your name. But the walls aren’t strong enough and I fight my tears in vain. The feeling came creeping through and the hurt is still the same. I wish I could forget you, or make you see me now. The pain will ease in time, and though I know it’s over and what we had is gone, the memories will live forever in a corner of my mind.”
She: God after a long time i saw him today, he looks so happy. He didnt noticed me but i saw him smiling, he looks so good and I miss him all over again. I know how i asked you to take care of him, to always make him safe and happy. I know how im asking you to make him feel love and even asked you to bring the right girl for him, someone who can take care of him, someone who will love him.  But why am I feeling this way God? im hurting, i dont understand, i should be happy for him but im not. I feel bad, it shouldn’t be this way

God: i understand, dont worry it is natural to feel that way. You will get better, i promise.

She: but God, Why? I dont like this feelings, it feels like my heart is breaking again… It took me a years to put the pieces back together and i thought im already okay but seeing him again makes it painful again. Why?

God: because you love.

She: Does it really have to hurt? 
 
God: yes....because that is how you will learn. You will be okay, can you please trust me? I am here, i will take that pain away, all you have to do is to let go, really just fully let go…everthing that is in your heart right now, that pain, anger, everything will go away! Trust me, i am here for you. i love you.

 "I remember feeling so hurt so down, I just wanted to crawl into my bed and DIE... I never thought I would get over the pain he caused me. I could have died and felt better then I was feeling because I felt so dead inside. However I can say that God was right and I'm not hurt by this man anymore. I'm finally okay spiritually and understand that I needed to be that hurt and needed to learn from it.”